Have you noticed the following dilemma:
You are out on a date with a guy. It is going ok and he is really looking as if he is interested but you’re just not feeling it. By the end of the date you know in the back of your mind it isn’t going anywhere and it has been a waste of both your times.
You are out with a hot guy. You are having a great time and thinking that he could definitely be the one. Then he seems to change. He becomes a little distant and stops giving off any signs. At the end of the date he is almost rushing to get out of there…
Grr how frustrating! What is up with that? It’s like every time there is something you want, it backs away but when you have it on a plate you lost interest.
Well you need to blame it all on your brain ladies. Believe it or not guys are pretty good at picking up signals, even if they don’t appear to do so. When we want something, our brain translates that as being impossible to have. This is down to the fact that the state of “wanting” is closely linked with the state of “not having”.
When you have something you don’t want it’s because you have it, and once you have it you’re bored. Like a dress that has been worn. At one point you really wanted it, but once you wore it you were bored with it…right?
Therefore, the brain sends signals to the rest of your body saying I wish I could be with this person, and have this person in my life. Your subconscious begins to ask is he is out of my league, is he too good for me, or why would he ever like me? This energetically sends signals to the man of slight desperation or inauthenticity.
It isn’t that the guy thinks you’re not attractive, too intelligent for him, too old, or not his type. It is this non-spoken energetic exchange (aka vibes) that occurs making him not so interested.
A man wants a woman that can inspire him in every way, a woman that knows what she wants. So, when a slight hint of desperation is picked up he starts distancing himself from her.
You probably know exactly what I mean because it happens for women to, when he is a little too available it is not as inspiring for us women, and the interest levels go down.
So, the next question is how do you prevent your brain from going to a place of sending desperation signals, when you like someone?
The #1 way to have the man you want is:
Know that what you are ultimately looking for in someone is INSPIRATION. Think about a moment you were inspired and why? Write it down. Then, see if he fits the bill in terms of that kind of inspiration.
I know for me, what is inspiring is when someone in my presence is authentically themselves, no games, and no façade. It gives me goose bumps.
So, judge him by your inspiration meter. He may be hot and charming, and gets your libido going, but does he do it for you mentally? He may do it for you mentally but does he do it for you in terms of chemistry? Being in evaluation around how high your inspiration meter peaks will help you stay cool and calm, instead of your subconscious slipping into thoughts of “he is too good for me,” before you even know him.
Keep yourself in a state of choosing him, instead of wondering if he will choose you and you will stay cool and calm, with a hint of butterflies, it will allow you to be authentic, which will attract him to you like a moth to a flame.