Is he cheating or am I just paranoid?

HomeCategory: CheatingIs he cheating or am I just paranoid?
Lily asked 7 years ago

I have been married for over 15 years and my husband has always been loving and treated me well. He drinks too much but he never gets violent or mean although I wish he would stop for his health.  But last year I discovered he was looking at a lot of porn online and casual sex dating sites. I was really hurt and confronted him because we hardly have much of a sex life. Not because I dont want to. I am always the one to ask. He says he loves me all the time, but doesnt want to be intimate. I feel like I turn him off.  I totally understand that men like porn, but the dating sites are different & even the porn hurts when your husband wont be intimate with you. He admitted the porn but said he was NOT on the dating sites. I found no profile and he does not have his own email (that I know of) He does not have a FB account or even access to a computer other than at home (again that I know of) This brought about trust issues because early in our marriage I had found a womans phone number in his wallet. I called the woman & confronted him. He swore to me he didnt cheat and he was sorry and things got better between us so we moved on.

But now, I find myself not trusting him at all, especially since he has no desire to have sex. I know we are both older, but it makes me wonder if there is someone else. I just have this feeling he is lying. I have noticed unusual behavior and even found hairs on his work shirts that were not his or mine and were longer like a womans. He said he didnt know how that could happen. He doesnt work with women & I found them on the inside of his shirts. He just got texting on his only phone (work phone) and I was looking through it one day & he said, what are you doing? I said just looking at your texts, he always used to use my phone & text people with it & look at things on it, which I dont have a problem with, I have nothing to hide. So I gave it back, but then it seemed suspicious so later I checked it again (after he passed out) and he had erased ALL his text messages! Recently he stayed out late at a work function and came home very drunk. The next day he kept apologizing over & over, which is a little unusual, because he often drinks too much.  But when I washed his shirts I found a handwritten note that had been washed & dried in his shirt pocket that he had worn that night. I was unable to read it as it was in peices, but it was clearly a womans handwriting. He said he had no idea how that got there. Then he said it could have been a receipt for the business function, but he was sure he gave it to his boss. So I asked him to text his boss to ask him, which he did, but I still dont know if he answered him & he has not offered any explanation. Other than these things he is kind and loving & says he doesnt want to leave me & that he loves me so much. So I dont know if I am being paranoid & these things can be explained or if I am truly being played.

I know I have trust issues, because of the past & I did tell him it would be a good idea to seek counseling and he agreed. But I dont think he will pursue it unless I make him go. Any thoughts?

3 Answers
sussyoptions answered 2 years ago

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