She says she cannot forgive me. I need positive help and advice.

HomeCategory: BreakupsShe says she cannot forgive me. I need positive help and advice.
JDP311 asked 5 years ago

I recently had a breakup with a fiancé. Our relationships got stagnate and things fell apart for us. I continued to fight for her and was starting to win the battle. She was starting to see that I really did care to save the relationship.

The other night ago something happened to something she had bought for her biological father. It was a ring and for some reason she got it in her head that I took it. I didn’t and cannot seem to convince her otherwise. It sent me on an emotional roller coaster because there is nothing worse than being accused of something and you being completely honest about it and not get believed. I have had issues with a few white lies in the past and this has strained the trust but did not completely break it.

I took some time away from the house because we still live together due to our current financial situation. When I got home, I wanted to talk about things. She had threatened that if the ring did not return she would be leaving as soon as possible. It bothered me and sent me further into the emotional roller coaster that I had already been riding. She was unresponsive to wanting to talk about anything. I guess I should have given it a little more time. I fell and I fell hard after her refusal to talk and grabbed her phone and the keys to our vehicle (I pay for both). I told her that if she wanted out then she would lose all the things that go along with it. I didn’t mean it and didn’t even realize what I was doing until about 15 minutes after I had started doing it. I caught myself doing what I had done and stopped. She had started packing a bag and had woken her daughter up to do the same, but did not leave. I gave a big and sincere apology the next day (yesterday) to her and her daughter and promised that it would never happen again. I didn’t get much response from either of them. I left it at that. Later in the evening she was ready to talk but I was still emotional.  She pressed to say some things. She brought up the ring again and said she could tell how I was lying about it. I explained that if I had the ring or if I had taken it, I would definitely have given it back to keep her here and not go through all this pain. I told her that my emotions were still not in check and my head was very cloudy. I didn’t think talking would be beneficial. She let me know that she would never be able to forgive me for what I had done the night before.  She said me trying to leave her high and dry with nothing had crossed the line. I would have never did that to her and I don’t know what was going through my mind but it will never happen again.

I don’t 100% believe that there are things in life that are unforgivable. She claims that she does not even want to talk to me anymore. After a 5 year relationship that was close to marriage, I don’t see how you could not just talk to that person no matter the circumstance.

I plan on giving this some time to cool down and let her get the things in her head worked out while I do the same. I don’t believe any of the things she has said are genuine and have been said out of anger and being hurt, How much time is the appropriate amount before I try to re-initiate contact with her? Does anyone think there is hope for reconciliation of our love once things cool down? Does anyone feel like her saying she isn’t willing to forgive a reaction out of anger and being hurt?  I do not ever plan on giving up on her, the love we share, or our relationship (she is also a childhood best friend whom I have known for 26 years, and if your advice is to move on and forget about her for the rest of my life, that is not going to be possible and please don’t waste your time commenting).